My son,

My son, whom still remains nameless (only God and your mother know what you will be named – yes, I have imput, but she has to do all the work and go through all the hurt so I leave it with her to finalize your name) I wanted to take a quick second to tell you that I love you.

In your life you are going to find those words are easy to say and often easy to hear.  I hope you know what they mean and mean it when you say it.  I do.

At least I think I do.

I have been wondering for some time now if I really do know what love it.  Or, rather, I have been wondering if I know how to love.  I think I do, but I also think I am screwed up, and I wonder if my screwedupness causes me to think I am loving when in fact I am not.

I am sorting through a lot of things right now.  Things that I am not sure I am capable of sorting through.  None of these things are about you, but they certainly can, will, may affect you.  I hope to have them sorted or well on their way by the time you are old enough to know who I am.

Maybe by then so will I.

Four (4) Weeks Left!

Laura has four weeks until the due date of our son!  We are both so excited, nervous and scared.  She will be having one more baby shower, so hopefully we will have everything we will need to handle this critter. 

Last week we took some pictures of the kid’s with their heads between my belly and Laura’s (sadly, for me, my belly is bigger than Laura’s!).  They turned out well. 

We both are hoping that the baby comes early.  I told her to try and hold off so I could have the fourth of July weekend off from work, but she just kinda looked at me like…

pilonidal cyst surgery: update

It has been seven months now since I have had my initial pilonidal cyst surgery.  Because of the way the wound was healing I had to have a second surgery to adjust it.  Now, seven months later that area that I had surgery on hurts often, usually when I am sitting for long periods of time.  The other day there were spots of blood.  I think this is normal from what I have read.  I just hope that a new cyst is not forming…

Pondo Prophet

A past employee (who will remain nameless) and I were closing together, and I was asking this employee how he was doing, etc.

“Dude, I’m livin the life of a porn star.”

“Wha..? Really?”

“Yeah, dude, my old lady stays at her friends house, so I go over there after work and do her, then she leaves in the morning and I go and do her friend. It’s awesome.”

I laughed out loud. Then went and mopped. Later I returned after doing some paperwork and asked him, “So, have you heard about the cyclone that wipped out like 20,000 people and now this earthquake in China killin thousands? Crazy stuff, eh?”

“Yeah, it’s the sign of the times. It’s the end of the world.”

“You think so, huh?” I was wondering what was going to come out of his mouth next!

“Yeah, everything the Bible says has come to pass. The world is coming to an end. That’s why, Toby, I’m getting my life together. You know, doing the right things. Living holy. You know?”

Holy? Porn star holy?

Getting Closer

This Friday Laura will be 35 weeks.

5 to go.

We still haven’t picked a name yet. I still don’t think Thor is even a consideration. Oh well.

The kids are so excited. Laura and I were worried about how they would take this, but when we told them, Joshua’s response was that he always wanted a brother! The girls are girly about it and can’t wait to hold him, watch him, etc. We believed that our son could be part of binding our new family together, although we will never put that weight on him. We’ll rest that on our love for each other.

Butterscotch Cookies

Every time I open, JoAnn brings me a warm, freshly baked Butterscotch Cookie. MMmmm, it tastes SOO good with my coffee in the morning. JoAnn is the mother of one of my High School buddies, Bill. Bill was partly responsible for my flunking of first semesister Biology (he wasn’t however in my flunking of the other subsequent ones). We also played D&D together. He is the one who introduced me to the Forgotten Realms campaign. He may have even given me his box sets for all I can remember. Anyway, JoAnn also worked with some of my relatives while she was my age. She takes care of me here.

Congrats Amy & Jim!

Yesterday I had the awkward honor of officating the wedding of my first high school girlfriend, Amy, and her great husband, Jim. I say awkward because, well, it was. Not in the weird way that you can’t talk or look at the people you’re around, but more of in the “man, I have had some weird shit happen to me in my life, and this is just another one of those weird things!” awkward.

I felt very honored to unite them in marriage, and we did a short and very sweet ceremony down by the river in the back of her mom’s (The Mother O’ Rock) lovely (no pun intended) home.

Before the wedding it was raining and didn’t look like it was going to let up. They thought about starting early. Someone suggested that they wait because you want to give everyone who is coming the time to get there. Right when we were supposed to start the sun came out and dried up all the rain (and the itsy, bitsy…) and we had a beautiful ceremony!

While waiting for that miracle, we were all inside MOR’s house and Amy’s son, Marshall, was chattin with me.

“How old are you?”

“Thirty-three.”

“Really? Cause you look like you are twenty-five.”

“You are now my favorite person, Marsh! Some chic this morning thought I was in my fourties.” He could have cared less.

“You also look like a TV star.”

Take back I said, “Oh yeah, who is that?”

“That guy off King of Queens.”

“The delivery guy?” I chuckled as I asked. The reason I chuckled is because I have told Laura numerous times that that show reminds me of us. The fat dead-end job guy is married to the hot chic who actually likes to make out with him!

“Yeah, him.”

“Thanks. That’s cool cause he’s married to this hot chic in the show, and I’m engaged to one. Her name is Laura…” He could have cared less.

Again, congrats Amy & Jim! See you in September at your bash!

Church Slogan?

I was thinking yesterday that if I was to start a “church” (I put it in quotes because what I would start would not be considered one according to people who are in them) I would have out purpose/mission/slogan go something like this:

“Helping people find meaning and connection in a way that is right for them.”

I know I need help finding meaning and connection! And, I know I would love to search for it, discover it, live in it in a way that was right for me – ie., we’re not trying to prepackage religion, and nor are we saying that how we do things, think, believe is right for everyone, etc, and people who differ are welcome, because with out everyone we can’t find the meaning and connection we all need.

What do you think?

Pondo Bucks

At almost every gas station, hotel, business that you stop in northern Michigan you will be sure to find a stack of Ponderosa Coupons sitting near the register. Our Division is holding a contest called the “Pondo Buck Contest” through the summer to help drive sales. Here’s how it works and how you can take advantage of this great contest:

Each employee takes a stack of coupons to any and all business, etc that will take them and leaves them to be taken by you the customer to redeem in our stores (stores located in Gaylord, Cadillac, Mt. Pleasant, Owaso, Coldwater, West Branch, etc.). These coupons are good for one person per coupon and can be used for a huge discount on the lunch buffet through Saturday, a free steak, or a discount on breakfast on Saturday & Sunday (yes, we have breakfast, and it’s better than Big Boys and cheaper, too!).

When you redeem your coupon the employee who placed the coupon receives a “pondo buck”. These bucks will be redeemable by the employee to be used in an auction to buy prizes. The top 5 redeptions in the company receive cash up to 2000$!! So, every coupon you use can really help not only our business, but also the hard working employees who put them out for you to use! It’s a win win for everyone!

The Shack – 2

I finished The Shack last night (since I couldn’t sleep – I finally fell asleep at 5:30am).

I wanted to post more originally, but for some reason WordPress wigged out and I couldn’t.

Anyway.

What I forgot to mention is that The Shack is supposed to be a true story, or better said a story told by a real person to the author about things he saw and experienced.

If Paul could talk of what he saw in heaven The Shack could very well be his story.

I know everyone wants some sort of review here, but I can’t. I don’t even know how to review it without giving away anything – the story is to good to let anything slip! So, all I can say is READ IT and then we can talk…

Odd Phrases

Ever heard a phrase and thought it was odd? For instance: “It’s colder than Hell out here!”

What?

Colder than where?

Hell?

Oh, that’s odd, cause I thought Hell was a place of burning fire? You know, as it flames…heat…fire? The opposite of cold?

Anyway.

Here’s another one that I heard used that has always puzzled me: “Friends with benefits”

If you’re not familiar with the term it’s often used to mean that you have a friend whom you have sex with. A friend with sexual benefits.

I get where they are coming from, but…

…isn’t the definition of friendship supposed to be people connected for unselfish reasons? Okay, I supposed you could see mutual sex between consensual adults as being unselfish, but I don’t. See, I was raised that sex was something that was done between two people who loved each other.

In fact, the term my mom used to describe it was : making love.

And, if sex (making love) is a “benefit” to a friendship, and that phrase supposes that you can do this with more people who are your friends, then can it really be sex?

I guess what I’m getting at is that it just seems like a selfish thing, and selfishness has no place in a friendship.

What did my mom call sex outside of a relationship then?

Fucking.

And she said, “Toby, dogs fuck. Men make love, and men do this with the woman they love, in a relationship with that woman.”

Okay, I see the cold look in your eye…

…burr, you’re making me cold.

It’s colder than hell in here now!

The Shack

Awhile back I received a book to review called The Shack.

I put it in the bathroom and began reading it.

I got about page 80 and left it there.

I put it on the shelf thinking I might get back to it. I might not.

Corey started talking about this book that was causing a great stir in many Christian circles. The Shack.

I said, “Hey, I have that book!”

He swore something at me about the Ooze and being Tavarian.

Anyway, after talking about how this book was cauing such a uproar I decided to jump back into it – eager to see what the hell was the big deal.

Well, several pages into I found out what it was all about!

WoW!

I haven’t been able to put it down.

I was awake until 3am the other night, not reading, but thinking. My mind has been altered by this book – by what is presented in this book! It shook me.

Seriously shook me.

Last night I made my way through some more of it’s pages, hoping that I would be able to sleep afterward. I did sleep, but not until I balled like a baby. Again I was rocked by what was presented.

I told Laura about it.

She said it reminded her of a book about bones or something.

The Golden Compass

This, by far, will not be a movie review of The Golden Compass.  Quickly just let me say that I LOVED this movie.  I know it seemed long in parts, and it also seemed like they were trying to cram a lot in (and there was a lot to cram in!), but I absolutely loved it.  I watched the night I rented it with my kids, then we watched it again the next morning.

I remember hearing that many Christians were upset about this movie.  What’s new.  But as I watched the movie I couldn’t help but wonder why?  Okay, so everyone has a daemon – big deal?  Doesn’t Christian belief say that we are all born with a darkside that is with us for life – even after we become Christians?  Did they get pissed about the “Dust” crap?  How could they in one breath rant about the possibilities of other worlds and in the same e-mail me about how I can plan my next Narnia-church campaign?

One of the main plot points in the movie was that the total authority of the Magisterium and how the other groups were seeking the Truth and that that Truth would ruin the Magisterium’s authority (funny how truth does that).  As I watched it, I wondered if this is what got the collective Christian undies in a bunch – the destruction of absolutes by the discovery and spread of truth…

Marriage

Why do people get married?  Indeed they don’t have to, or do they?  I realize that our culture(especially religion) has had much to do with the necessity of marriage, and that is fine.  I know people have gotten married because it was “the right thing to do”.  I know people have gotten married for tax breaks.  I know people who have gotten pregnant and then said “we have to get married now.”

I am going to marry again.  I know this.  I want this.  My divorce never inflicted damage on my view of marriage, but it did however cause me to step back and really consider why people do.

In a couple weeks I will be performing a wedding ceremony.  These people are in love, they are committed to each other and their futures with each other, they have lived together for some time already.  So, why get married?  Because they want to.

What better reason?

If you believe that marriage is a powerful, meaningful way of expressing to the one you love that you are their’s for life, then I would encourage you to get married!  Do it because you want to!  Do it because of love, and not moral obligation.  If you believe strongly in marriage, then you have to marry the one you love, don’t you?  Doesn’t love cause you to express it in the most meaningful, powerful, wonderful ways imaginable?  Then if you love then you must.

And what better reason is there…?

Recreation with a Purpose

That was the tagline on the tag a guy had on his key chain that drew my attention. The tag was a gym pass for Second Baptist Church’s recreation center. The guy who had it joined the church to be able to go to the gym for free.

Recreation with a Purpose.

I wonder how many people would find what this guy did as wrong? Using a church like that! But, then again, I wonder how many people use church for far worse things – self-esteem, get out of hell card, poularity, purpose, etc???