Adultery 2.0

If you think for one moment that my offense against you exceeds my offense to Christ Himself, you’ve highly deceived yourself. That being said, if Christ can and will forgive even the vilest of sinners, what makes you better than Him. Why do you persist in taking His position on His throne and casting such judgment on me? Do you not think He is quite capable of taking care of that Himself? Where’s your humility in it all. Have you thanked God that He spared you of a similar path because it could have been you just as easily. Christ said if a man even thinks it in his heart, he’s guilty of it.

The offense referenced is adultery. This married man slept with another man’s wife for over a year and a half. Evidently the man who was violated in this incident expressed his anger, hurt, and frustration over what had happened to him. In response, the adulterer basically said to him that he was being unforgiving, judgmental, bitter, and not Christ-like. He also said that he lacked humility.

Aside from the blatant unrepentant, arrogance of this reply, could it be true what he is saying?

Should the person who’s wife cheated on him be thankful that God spared him from sneaking around with another man’s wife like this man did?

Could it just as easily been that way like he says?

(Don’t worry we’re going to get to the out-of-context remarks about Jesus’ teachings on adultery soon enough)

The answer I give is no. No, no, no. I’m not sure if I am going to have enough time in this post to fully develop my thoughts on this, so I’ll make my reasoning quick and to the point in an attempt to explain my answer.

Christianity (for the most part) teaches that people are born into this world sinners. Sinning doesn’t make us sinners, we sin because we are sinners. Just like someone is born male or female and that makes them a boy or girl we are born with a sin nature and thus we are sinners.

Some circles define this sin nature as being totally depraved. Sin is not just in us, it has affected every aspect of our being. Our mind, heart, will, flesh, etc, has been touched with sin. While we aren’t as bad as we could be, we all have the potential for this.

So, basically, according to this thinking everyone on the planet doesn’t stand a chance as far as their choices go. See, one always acts out of his nature. Pigs roll in the mud, etc. So, if our nature is sin, then we will sin. It’s a lose lose situation.

Thus this man says “you should thank God that he spared you cause it could have been you just as easily.” In other words what he is saying is because of your sin nature, your depravity, you could have been sleeping with my wife instead of me sleeping with yours.

Read that sentence again.

Seriously.

Now does anyone agree with that type of thinking?

No.

I sure don’t.

There is no way I would have slept with his wife for a year and a half. Why? I am not him. I don’t think like him, act like him, don’t have his moral upbringing, have not had his experiences. I don’t have his insecurities, short comings, successes, etc. I am not him. He is not me.

Now, just because he believes in depravity means he believes I would do what he did (unless God spared me from doing so, which begs the question of why didn’t God spare him [again the arrogance]…and if God could spare him and didn’t then who is really at fault? God? or him? Which leads me to ask do Christians really believe in depravity as they think they do because this guy just blamed God for not sparing him from sleeping with another man’s wife! Wow.

I believe I am a human, and that I have a choice in everything I do. My son came to me the other day about something someone “made me do”. I told him…come on, you all know what I told him…”Son, nobody can make you do anything. You choose to do, let, etc”… Right? Just cause someone hits me doesn’t me I can hit them back and if I do they didn’t “make me”. Just cause someone’s hot wife hits on me or tells me her problems doesn’t me I get to take them in my van down Industrial Park and screw them in the dark of night and say “my sin nature made me do it.”

When someone blames their sin nature are they really owning up to the problem?

Say “No”.

They are passing the blame. Christians are pros at this. It is their religion after all.

So what was Jesus really talking about when he said “if a man looks upon a woman with lust in his mind, then he has committed adultery already?” Well, I guess single guys are safe on this one, right? They can look and lust all day long. Glad I’m divorced. (I’m being silly, to make a point).

Jesus was not saying this as a definite, this is law, this is truth, and thusly make some pronouncement of what adultery really means, people. Believe it or not Jesus spoke in the same manner as you and I do (and not in King James English either). In other words he was saying something obviously not intended to be taken as law in order to make a point.

If you read the verses in context you’ll soon discover he was teaching on judging others and not dealing with your own sin. (You can go read it yourself. I don’t have to provide the verses and the points anymore. I’m not a preacher!)

Oh, wait a minute, that’s exactly what is going on here isn’t it. Most Christians I know hide their sin behind sin so that they never have to face the real issue. The real issue isn’t about sin, it’s about you.

You chose.

You decided.

You worked the mojo.

You went where you shouldn’t have.

You said what you shouldn’t have said.

You ignored her asking you not to go there.

You pressed forward when she said no.

You broke her down. She gave in.

Why? Cause you’re a sinner? No, cause you’re sinner. If you don’t see the difference, please see me afterward.

So, this guy attempts to cover his sin by 1) blaming God, 2) blaming his sin nature, and 3) blaming the other person and making them just as low or lower than he is.

I don’t have to worry about thanking God for sparing me from adultery.

I don’t have to worry about my “sin nature”.

Why?

Cause I am not an adulterer.

He is.

They don’t call him Rodmaster for nothing!

Tetanus shot smetanush shot

Saturday, I was scheduled out of work at 2pm. Greatness. Around noonish I copped my thumb open while cutting a potato. Bummer. Steve thought I needed stitches. I went to the walk-in clinic, cause they are cheaper on the company.

I waited 2 hours and 40 minutes to find out that I did not need stitches.

I got home around 3ish. Yeah, one hour after I should have been home.

I did get to pee in a cup though, and I did get a tetanus shot. The lady said it wouldn’t hurt me (I remember it making my arm ache the last time I had one…). She lied. My arm is killing me.

I also think I had a bad reaction to it or something because yesterday I thought I was on a bad acid trip (don’t ask me how I would know what being on one of those is like…). Every time I lifted my arm where I got the shot I felt like I had the flu; you know, that achy feeling all over. I was so tired, unmotivated, and just felt like I was in a daze.

Purple haze all in my brain…”

Anyway, I began to feel feverish later into the night, which sucked, cause I was at work and I wanted my mommy. When I got home I buzzed Laura, then crashed on the couch. Laura called and we talked until 1:30ish in the morning during which time I took a large amount of Advil and began to sweat and feel better. Then I got really hungry.

Cereal…

Today I am still a bit achy, but I think I’m going to visit the Advil bottle and see what that brings me. I have a lot to do this week while I have the kids:

- Finish priming Joshua’s room
- Get Joshua a new bed
- Peel all the boarders off all the rooms (btw, I hate people who put up so many boards on the walls of their rooms! Does anyone have any idear how hard that crap is to get off the walls!?)
- Paint Joshua’s room girl colors because Alaina and Mallory are going to be sharing it
- Prime Alaina’s room
- Paint Alaina’s room boy colors because Josh is moving in
- Get the rest of Laura and Mallory’s stuff out of storage
- Decorate and set up their rooms for this school year

Oh, and I have to work 50 hours between Tues and Sat, too.

Griffen tried to overcome his alcoholism…

…but died in a horrible car crash that caused his car to catch fire and burn him alive. They had to identify him by his dental records. (full story here)

According to reports Eddie Griffin, once NBA star, was a severe alcoholic, and like most alcoholics believed he could beat his disease, and he did. Almost. Gearing up for the next NBA season, Griffin, who had been cut by his former team was ready to try out and re-start his career. However, thinking he had beat his alcoholism, decided to go on one last binge…

…the binge that ended his life.

The disease he thought he beat killed him.

In a non-judgemental way I wonder what it is that causes those trapped in such bondage to a liquid to think that since they have over come it that they can go on a binge and think everything is okay?

Do they justify it by saying, “I had some set backs”?

“I just relapsed is all. Everyone does it.”

Do they do it to say goodbye to their disease in some weird, twisted way?

I think they do it because they are warped. Let me explain.

How does one overcome alcoholism? Is it different for everyone? I know and have known people who have lost everything thinking they have a handle on their alcoholism. I think, how can they think they have a handle on it, their life is out of control!

I think the way an alcoholic thinks is different, and thus it’s hard for me to put myself in their world. I believe this is especially true if the alcoholism actually compounds (and how could it not) their already budded mental instability and social insecurities.

Again, I’m not trying to be judgemental here. And it’s not like I don’t know what I am speaking of. I used to be addicted to Asprin (seriously) and also Marijuana. How did I get past them?

I

quit

using

them.

I guess it never was harder than saying, “I’m done doing this now.” And stopping.

Although I’m not sure “addiction” may not be an accurate term. To my understanding an “addict” is someone who continues to abuse/use a substance no matter the consequences to them or those around them.

In that light I never was an “addict”.

Addicts continue to destroy themselves no matter what. They’re thinking. They’re decision making. They’re conversations. Everything. Is warped.

Because you have to be warped to destroy yourself and perhaps those around you.

You have to be warped to loose your husband

And your kids

And your dignity

And your hope

Your dreams

Your life

For a substance.

So Eddie Griffin, who wasted a promisingly great NBA, to consume a liquid, thought he had a handle on it and decided to get blasted and drive drunk into eternity. Why?

Cause he is warped.

Changes

I change things a lot, it seems.  As I was importing my blogger posts I came across a post from last July stating that I was then thinking about switching over to WordPress…lol!  There have been several (okay, more than several) changes to the look and feel of my blog over the last four years (has it been four?).  I don’t know why I can’t settle on anything…maybe it’s the artist in me (I hope so!).  If only I could get a flash header then that would be sweet and it would change every time I went to the site…*off to figure out how I can do this…*

The 10$ Story

Someone told a story about not being able to use the phone at a business when they were stranded and how it bothered them to no end and then finally one day they went back to the stingy place of business and gave them 10$ and said “I don’t care what your policies are, but if anyone is stranded like we were awhile back use this 10$ and call them a ride!” For them, the burden, the anger, the injustice, was lifted.

That story helped me give someone in my life the 10$ I so desperately needed to give them.

Import

I am in the process of importing my posts from Blogger right now…s l o w process.  If I didn’t have 911 posts then maybe it wouldn’t be.

WordPress

I think I am going to give wordpress a try.  I’m fooling around with the idea…

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!

Doula – my take on being in the room when your baby is born

Keelie just wrote this post about her struggles with the concept of a Doula (a female birth partner). She has about 6 weeks left until their baby (aka – The Redheaded Mexican) arrives. She mentions that, of course, Corey will be in the room when the baby is born, but she also talks about how maybe she should have some female companionship. Let me say that if I were her I would be a hell of a lot more nervous with Corey in the room than anything else. “Um, Corey dear, could you put the frickin laptop down and get over here and hold my hand!”

Anyway, I have this theory about men being in the delivery room that is not well liked but I believe to be well founded (note: this comes from the guy who “shushed” the mother of his daughter while she was giving birth…that has to be the all-time most stupid thing any guy has ever done! I challenge anyone to top such sheer stupidity). My theory is that men do not belong in the delivery room.

Why? Well, I’m not sure why exactly but it has something to do with the fact that in the history of the known universe men have never been allowed in the presence of a women while giving birth…until the last 40-50 years or so. Think of the old black and white movies where the father is pacing the hallway with a smoke in his yap (mmmm…Corey, wanna smoke, dude?).

So I just wonder how good it is to go against thousands of years of history just to be present when the lizard appears?

For thousands of years (as already noted twice) women have gathered around each other to help each other through this cursed/salvific process. Grandmothers gather around their granddaughters with their daughters and pass down the secrets of child birth and rearing. I think there is something special about that. I think there is something special about it being a mystery to us men. I think there is something special that is passed down from generation to generation in that delivery room by the women in that room that maybe we shouldn’t be apart of.

Maybe this is why Keelie and every other woman wants a female to be there when it takes place. Guys, we just don’t have what it takes or have what they need to get them through this process. Corey, just wait, you are about to experience the most incredible, mysterious, gross, and helpless thing imaginable: the birth of your baby. Obviously a woman wants another woman there because they know the pain, they know the experience, they know what’s coming, they can coach them, etc. But, maybe it is deeper than that.

All that said, I wouldn’t trade my being there for the birth of both of my children for anything. I mean that. This isn’t some silly post coming from the guy who shushed his kid’s mom in the delivery room. I honestly think this is a subject worth talking about…

3rd

Fantasy Football Question: if you had the third pick in the first round of your fantasy draft and Manning and Tomlison were gone, who would you pick next?

28

That is how many pounds I have lost since December of 06.

I eat a lot of fast food and Ponderosa steak & buffet. I also snack late at night and eat lots of sweets and drink a lot of soda pop. I do chew sugarfree gum, though.

I have lifted weights a total of three times this year so far (I was starting on a retuine and then my shoulder got hurt).

I do not walk any significant distance. I do not run. I repeat I do not run.

There is only one thing I can attribute my weight loss to…and that is the fastest calorie burning excersize there is…

…blogging, duh. What were you thinking?!?

Blondes have more fun!

Laura love me. She loves my blond hair. She bought a blond golden retriever because “he was cute and reminded me of you.” She loved my long blond hair, but still loves my thinning blond hair. Why do chicks like guys with blond hair?

As I was getting ready the other morning I put my blue baseball hat on and checked myself in the mirror. In a flash my blond hair, cropping out from under the hat, reminded me of what I looked like when I was a boy. A little blond boy. A toe head. Cute. Then it hit me. This is why women like guys with blond hair…it reminds them of the cuteness of blond boys they grew up with. Weird.

Tab’s Wedding & Road Trips

Leaving here in a few to attend my best friends daughter’s wedding. Tim, you’re old, man! Tim is actually five years older than me but his daughter is getting married…mine is starting kindergarten.

So, today we will witness two people coming together as one. I wonder what thoughts this will inspire…? Tonight we will be dancing and enjoying the celebration! We’re pumped for the get away.

Sunday we’re heading to Little Bear Lake Campground. About 1.5 miles of walking through beautiful woods and we’ll bust out into a tropical beach type scene. This beach is the most beautiful in all of the USA. We’ll be on it. Secluded. I wonder what this will inspire…?

Monday it’s back to life as normal. I’ll been on my third day off in a row. I’ll have my kids. Tabitha will be married. Tim will still be old. I wonder what else will be new…?

Justice

14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.

17-19Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”

20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. – Romans 12:14-21, The Message

I have an old friend who has done much evil to me. He has stolen from me, and he has committed murder in my life. I hate him for it. He is no longer an old friend. He is my enemy. I want justice for what he has done to me and mine. I do not believe that it is right that certain things will no longer be reconcilable because of his evil wickedness. I do not believe that my children should have to pay the price for his abomination. I hate him and I don’t know what to do about it.

I find no solace in these verses, yet. A friend told me today that in time I will. I do not believe I am bitter. But, I do believe that I should not let what was done to me and mine just fade away, either.

It was suggested to me that I need to find my way of cooping with this. “A ghost” he said. Those words have echoed in my ear ever since.

It is time for me to confront this, head on, and to slay the dragon that has eaten my memories, ravaged my village and stolen my treasure.

Soon I will enter his layer and I will sit amongst those whom he has swooned and swayed with his demonic manipulation and hypocrisy and I will stare at him. My eyes will burn truth while his will not meet them. Several in his layer will know of what my eyes speak. The rest…they will find out the truth.

The truth is coming, K.H.W.. It is coming for you.

Justice may or may not be served.

But, I will be healing.