Final Countdown

12 more days

The Well

I have been drinking off and on for the past year or more from the cool, freshing, challenging, loving waters of Jacob’s Well. My friends, Jonathan and Kathy Mays are entering a new, well I don’t know what to call it, with Jacob’s Well, and while it may seem like so much is changing for them and their church plant, I suspect that they are actually coming back to where they started with this whole thing, and that might just be where they’ve always needed to be.

You can check out the Jacob’s Well website here.

Christianity Re-imagined

While going through some books the other day I came across Doug Paggit’s Church Re-Imagined. I enjoyed that book along with Preaching Re-Imagined. It got me thinking about Christianity Re-Imagined. (his blog has links to his books)

I’m ready to begin (as if I haven’t been doing so already) exploring where I am spiritually and where I have been and where I am going. I want to ask questions with some people and discern what it means to be a Christian, if that is even necessary (not the discerning, but the being).

Do I need church?

Do I need to be apart of this thing called Christianity?

Am I a Christian?

What does that mean if I am? If I’m not?

Is Jesus even alive? Did he really rise from the dead?

What does it mean to believe? If believing something brings life then could resurrection terminology simply be a way of saying these first century people in the Bible believed in what Jesus was teaching?

Can I be a Christian and believe in what Jesus taught, as well as what other’s taught, and not believe he was God, rose from the dead, the Bible is some divinely inspired book, and that I have to look at the back of someone’s head for an hour on a Sunday while dumping 10% of my income into a plate as it’s passed? And so many more questions…

I think I am re-imagining Christianity. And, I’m not sure I should be doing this alone – in fact, it is impossible for me to do so. I want to walk through this with others, select others, and so, I plan on doing this at another place, on another blog.

Your invites will be in the mail…

Pondo Compliments

Jean friggin kills me! She’s so goofy, it’s hilarious. Anyway, she did something today and then said something about someone else that made me loose it.

And, I mean, I lost it! I haven’t laughed that hard in I don’t know how long. So, as I am on the ground laughing uncontrollably, someone says, “Who’s that chick laughing.” To which one of the other Pondo servers replies, “That’s not a girl, that’s Tobs!”

“He sure sounds like a chick!”

Introducing…Laura

With long anticipation, I would like everyone to give a warm blogging welcome to Laura. I’m not sure how excited she’s going to be to find herself gracing my blog, but my blog could use her gracing – and so could the rest of the world. To those of you who have not yet met Laura, you will be soon. She’s really excited to me the people in my life (yeah, she’s heard all the stories and still wants to get to know you cats!), and I can’t wait to share you with her. I’m sure you’ll quickly fall in love with her like I have…

(And now, Rita, you wont be uncomfortable wondering who she is if you bump into us in the store some time…*wink*)

Happy Father’s Day

Every boy wants to be his dad.

Being a dad that’s a lot of weight on your shoulders.

But, our shoulders were meant to carry that weight.

We can be what our kids need to grow up to be.

We have to be…who else will? Who else should have to?

For those of you who are carrying and being that, or who will be soon (Corey!) I wish you a Happy Father’s Day.

Carry on…

Kodak EasyShare

I am working on installing my Kodak EasyShare Digital Camera stuff so I can upload photos and get busy making memories! As soon as you see them then you’ll know I got it working…

Home Again, Home Again

It seems that my house has stayed the same all week. Perhaps that is because I have failed to spend much time in it? I have simply been gone all week. I have worked till 8pm or later every night, and when I have not been working I have been gone. With the exception of one night, I have not been home to sit and enjoy my house.

Thankfully it’s been clean this whole time…

The Gift

Last night I was given something very special; something I am not worthy to carry. But, the person who gave it to me thinks I am. She thinks I am the greatest guy in the world.

So, I have one fan. Two, counting my mom. Three and four counting my sisters.

ANYWAY. The gift? A tiny locket-sized circlet that goes on a small chain necklace (?) with a picture of a beautiful little girl who has grown into the most beautiful woman I have ever known. This charm was kept by her father, who lost it one night in the snow and searched relentlessly with frozen hands to find it. Why?

“Because it has your picture on it, Laura. You’re my baby girl.”

Laura’s father died over a decade ago. He has never left her heart.

And now I hold dear what he held dear all those years.

What a gift.

Kobe Comes East

What if Kobe comes to New York? Does NY offer him a better situation than LA? Doubt it. What if he went to Chicago? Either way, Kobe in the East, along with Wade and LeBron…Deee-troit Basketball is in some serious trouble, folks.

Hannibal

Silence of the Lambs…

Hannibal Rising…

Red Dragon…

Tonight, Hannibal.

Been watching the Hannibal movies here of late. Watch Rising and Red Dragon in the past week. Gonna watch Hannibal tonight.

Too Fast

Someone once told me that they thought I would be married within a very short period of time after my divorce because “you need someone in your life, Toby.”

While I would like to baulk at that and say, “No, I don’t, I’m my own man!” I can’t. I do need someone in my life.

In fact, I think I need lots of people in my life. I’m pretty sure that I need everyone in my life that I have in my life right now.

When is to fast to get into a relationship after one has ended? Is the fastness or slowness wherein one joins another to be defined by those outside of that relationship? I think it’s defined by the people in that relationship, isn’t.

If I want to date, I’m going to date – that is, if she says yes.

If the we get serious in our relationship and we choose, together, to move it to the next level, then we will do so. Who defines for us the proper speed? We do.

(I think advice from people is great and all, by the way, and I appreciate difference, but this part of the post isn’t my main point, so hold on for a sec…)

Those who often say “it’s too soon” also say, “you need someone so you’re in this relationship.”

But, if I wasn’t dating someone seriously wouldn’t I be at your house, or your house, or your house more? Wouldn’t we be hanging out more? (I mean “we” in the collection of people who have claimed me as their friend. I am not referring to the person who made these comments, because, we wouldn’t be together..!) And, if I was hanging out with you would you say something like, “Um, Toby, this is too soon. This is going too fast.” Etc?

No.

We need each other. We need people in our lives. We need relationships.

I don’t want to be an island.

Or a rock.

I want to love and be loved. I want to share and care and whatever other carebears there are with others, even (especially) someone special with whom I may spend the rest of my life with.

Is that so bad?

Now, I realize that we need to learn from our mistakes and we can move too quickly, etc. But, I think that is for the people in the relationship to decide, isn’t it? I know that I have witnessed people moving “too fast” and I have asked them pointed questions, etc about it, but in the end, it’s their move. It’s their call. Isn’t it?

Should we be proud that we can be alone?

Should we mark maturity by our ability to be a rock, an island?

Should we encourage solidarity and make it a bench mark of coolness?

Should we even be seeking it?

And, do the people who chide others about moving “too soon” and “needing to be in a relationship” realize that not a day goes by where they are not in relationships themselves?

POst Birthday BluEs

YEstErday was my birthday. I turnEd thirty thrEE. I alsO had to wOrk. I gOt Out Early. JOshua spEnt the day with his bEst friEnd, GEnE, whilE Alaina spEnt the aftErnOOn with Laura.

SO what did I gEt?

WEll, I was ablE to spEnd the wEEkEnd with sOmEOnE vEry spEcial. I was ablE to EnjOy my childrEn having Saturday Off and mOst Of Sunday. I alsO got sEvEral nicE cards and phOnE calls. WE had a nicE dinnEr at hOmE just chillin with thE kids. And, I alsO had a wOndErful surprisE last night!

And, Laura gOt me a awEsOmE digital camEra! This thing has all the bElls and whistlEs, tOO! SO, bE lOOking fOr digital phOtOs from mE hErE soon!

The Children of Hurin

My mom got me Tolkien’s new book (even though he is dead) for my birthday. Which is awesome because a) who isn’t a fan and b) I was just thinking the other day that I needed some new fiction to plow through. Thanks mom!

Taking a breather…

My day off today. Boy is it nice out!

The kids and I planted the garden today. I still have some room for some more plants, so in the next week or so I’ll be planting some more. I’ve got the usuals and then I also planted some herbal stuff this year (something I haven’t done in the past).

I also cleaned out the gutters. Nasty. Seriously, that stuff stinks if you let it rot in there. Yuck.

My vandalized truck will not come clean. So, I have a “space rocket” on my hood now, and when I took the kids out for a drive around the block some parents actually came out and brought their kids inside! Seriously! Wouldn’t you if you saw some truck coming around your hood with “I’m not gay,” “Kill Toby,” “Bloods forever,” “I play with space rockets (with a pic of an *ahem* you-know-what) next to it? Yeah, I know it’s weirdin people out on Mapleleaf…

We just had a late lunch and now it’s time to clean the van out. That baby needs a good rogerin, as Bob Buckles would say. I miss Bob.

My hands are dirty today and it feels good. That reminds me, I wrote a song called “Dirty Hands” based off the story where Jesus spits in some mud and make it clay and puts it on some blind dudes eyes and he was told to wash in the pool of blessing and he was made to see. Anyway.

“Yo Bob, breaks over!” (what movie is that from?)