Global Warming

Has the weather been unusual of late or is it just me? Okay, everybody knows it has. An of course, “Global Warming” is getting the blame.

I blame it on the Tsunami.

Now, some might blame the Tsunami, but I don’t know enough about either to be an expert on this. But, I do know one thing.

Things are changing.

And, I love change.

Things are not going to be the same as they have been.

And, I love the adventure.

And as much as all these changes in the weather, in life can scare you, it’s the going through it that helps make us, or break us.

I plan on going through some warm winters. I don’t know why they’ll be warm. I wont complain about it. I’ll just try to make the best of them. Oh, I’ll always remember the cold, snow-filled winters. The sledding. The shoveling. But, that was then, this is now.

Global warming just may be having a deeper affect on us than we know.

I believe in Santa Claus!

I watched through the peephole of my six year old video camera as my kids opened their Christmas presents with much anticipation and with little patience.

Rip!

Tear!

Wrapping paper scattered all around the room, and high pitched glee coming from the hearts of kids who have no idea what Christmas is all about, but certainly know more than most of us do about it.

One present in particular caught my attention. It was a ceramic Christmas Tree orniment of a Santa Claus figure with the words painted at the bottom, “This House Believes in Santa Claus”. Or something to that effect.

Carrina looked at me and smiled. As she did I remembered our discussions over the years about how to handle the “Santa Claus” story. (Did you know if you rearrange the letter of his name it spells “Satan”!? Beware!) Personally I didn’t care either way.

“But, it’s a lie, and one day we’re going to have to tell them the truth, Toby.”

I remember the first time I found out there was no Santa. It was a very weird but unusually normal moment in my life; especially considering the magnitude of the lie that I had believed all these years! And, as far as I know, I’m fairly sane today, even though I write “From Santa” on a couple Christmas packages.

But, the more I think about Santa Claus the more I can honestly say I believe in him.

Seriously.

I believe in Santa Claus.

It is impossible for one person to deliver packages to every child’s home on both Hemispheres in a 24 hour period of time. We all know this, but I still believe. As far as I’m concerned the impossibility of that is no different than believing that by the death of one man all of mankind’s sins were paid for before God.

Hmmm, I think that sounded sort of blashphemous. Let me put it this way. What is the jist of the Christmas story? Ole Saint Nick delivers packages to boys and girls all over the world, via a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. Thus he spreads joy to the hearts and homes of many. Was St. Nick a real person? History is kind of foggy (as is usually the case), but it seems there was such a person, and he was truly a Saint. Is it his fault that his story got mythically elaborated on as time passed?

No. And neither is it Jesus’ that his did as well.

At the root of believing Jesus is believing in who he is – believe in what he stands for, what he represents. That’s what you’re following, right? That’s who you’re following.

Who was St. Nick? What did he stand for, what did (does) he represent? He represents the selfless sacrifice of love that brings love to the unloveable.

Who doesn’t want to believe in that?

What this guy did in actual history is so over blown by the myth that has been created from it. But those types of myths grow and gain momentum in the minds and hearts of people for a reason. One man, St. Nick, helped changed the lives of countless people, for the better.

I believe in that.

I believe that one person – you, me, any one person – can change the lives of countless people, for the better, if we try. If we sacrifice. If we love the unloveable. If we believe.

D-FENCE

Is it me or does Detroit have a better PA average than Chicago?

Detroit: PA 93.0
Chicago: PA 95.0

You are…stupid surveys

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you’re researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Visioning

You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be – even if you haven’t worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What’s Your Thinking Style?

You Are 80% Extrovert, 20% Introvert

You are as outgoing as they come The life of the party, you’re friends with everyone You’re a people person, and you are quite the entertainer You love being around a crowd and acting spontaneously

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor – Art Teacher – Book Editor Clothes Designer – Comedian – Composer Dancer – DJ – Graphic Designer Illustrator – Musician – Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What’s Your Ideal Career?

It’s a long road back, if you take it.

Tonight I read an article by an old pastor friend of mine. We are still cordual to each other, but due to various circumstances, we aren’t in “fellowship” with one another anymore. But, I still check in on him from time to time, and I think of him often and well. The article was entitled “Why do Disciples Fall Away?”

No hiding what the article is about is there?

I was particularly interested in this article because awhile back (has it really been almost two years now?) he warned me about the direction my theological inquiriers would take me, and that I would probably end up going down a path that would lead to destruction. I agreed.

Some things need to be destroyed.

Recently an old friend of mine ran a 26 mile marathon. That impressed me enough to go on a diet. If this person could discipline themselves to run 26 (TWENTY SIX!!) miles, then surely I could stop eating a bag of chips a night.

I bring this up because 1) I am throhoughly impressed that someone can actually run the distance from Gaylord to Grayling and 2) because me writing about a marathon while never running in one is like this guy writing an artcle about “falling away from the faith.” Seeing someone run a marathon, hearing about it, reading about is not the same as running in one.

Who’s article would you want to read on running a marathon? Mine or my friends?

Exactly. So who wants to listen to somebody that hasn’t “fallen away” write about it? So, as someone who would be labled as “fallen away” let me write about it. I am, after all, everybody’s favorite heretic.

Or to put it in a Biblical setting, who’s article would you want to read about prodigal living – the Prodigal Son’s or the Elder Brother’s?

The assuption is made by many that when someone leaves a church, or quits going to church all together, that they have fallen away from what they believe. Well, assuptions are like you know whats and everyone has one and they stink! Since when did a religion based on “absolute truth” learn to lean so heavily on assuptions?

Some people have really good reasons for leaving the church, your church, or Christianity. Maybe those who label them should listen to them instead – how insightful would that be! Some people need to detox from church. Some people do (read here).

I know I needed to.

I know there are some who look at me, look at my life, look at the changes and they think I have “fallen away” from the faith. I haven’t! Let me repeat – I HAVEN’T! Let me also say that if you are assuming such than that means you haven’t spoken to me about it cause if you had you’d know better, and if you ARE assuming such and HAVEN’T spoke to me, then shame on you. When are you going to follow the faith you claim to believe in so much? When you see a brother stumbling, aren’t you supposed to reach out and help him.

Or is passing judgment and making uneducated assumptions your way of reaching out?

As one pumper sticker puts it:

Lord, deliver me from your followers!

So, let me explain what “falling away” really is.

While some people I know who have walked away from Christianity don’t plan to return any time soon – ie, they have openly admitted they are now atheists (inspite of silly Christian debate points that say there are no such people…wake up and smell the coffee, people), many have just decided that they want nothing to do with the wrapping that Christianity comes in.

I’m one of those people.

The core of my faith is as strong as ever – all doubts aside. Like the Roman I pray, “Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief!” Just tonight I was trying to reason through some pretty faith-breaking things with a good friend of mine. He wasn’t trying to convince me of anything – in fact, he agreed with some of my thoughts and implications – but in the end, I am who I am and I am still following my Rabbi, Jesus.

But, the rub comes because so many people can’t disassociate their Rabbi from the Church. I can. I do. I will. That isn’t to say that I wont be apart of a church. In fact, I have been frequenting the church I first started following Christ with. They are openly an “Independent, Funamental, KJV only, Bible-believing Baptist Church”. Sounds like I’ll fit right in, doesn’t it? But, I feel drawn to them. In spite of those differences there is a genunine love for me and for them, and I like that. But, that doesn’t mean I’m going to wrap my faith up in their wrapping paper.

I understand the concern that many have towards me and the changes that I have made in my life (leaving the ministry, etc), and for the most part I appreciate them, and I know that many are expressing an genuine love for me through those concerns. I’m not trying to slam that. What I’m saying is that some times those concerns are unfounded because we have eqivicated following Jesus with being inline with some denomination, church, group, etc.

And, that’s where articles like “Why do Disciples Fall Away?” come in.

We’re, I’m, not walking away from Jesus. I’m just walking away from some of the stupid ways his people have chosen to interpret his teachings and how they have decided to package them in an effort to glorify God which in reality has turned into a way to control them into following their way, which really isn’t Jesus’ anyway at all.

Maybe we need more disciples to fall away…

That was for you, Watchman!

HA! You know you love the new header! I have a man-crush on Rob Bell. So!? At least I admit it, Watchman!

Thanks, Lori!

Lori let me bum some cd’s off her tonight. I’m saving them to my computer right now.

Rascal Flatts, “Feels Like Today” (My favorite RF song is “What Hurts the Most” but it isn’t on this cd)

Johny Lang, “Wander this World”

Hootie & The Blow Fish, “Let Her Cry”

Richard Marx, “Greatest Hits”

Brian Adams, “So Good So Far”

Santana, “Supernatural”

How Rich Are You?

Find out here.

I believe…

For the first time in a long time I believe.

For the first time in a long time I acted on faith and made a decision. I went all in, knowing I had the loosing hand, but believing in something someone told me.

I lost the hand.

But, I think I won.

Because it’s been a long time since I believed.

There are people in this world who live their life in a certain way. They live it by faith. Each day they wake up and they just know they are in the hands of something – Someone – larger than themselves. They know that their life is more than they know it to be.

They are apart of something bigger, grander, more beautiful, than they could ever hope or realize.

So they believe.

And their faith helps enable us to believe as well. Of course in God, but in the little things – and the big.

There are others who could care less about belief. They think their lives are lived by their own due what they get, damned if they do, damned if they don’t. They walk without faith. They may sense that there is something more, but they chalk it up to superstition, fanatics, and weaklings.

I don’t know how to live life without faith.

I don’t know how to live without believing.

I don’t know how I’ve lived these past few months, and years without it.

I’m glad I am able to believe again. It means more to me than you could possible know.

LUKE 19

Check out Rob Bell’s message entitled “Calling All Peacemakers I & II” here.

Make sure you read the pdf here. It should rock your world. If it doesn’t, then you can’t say you love God.

Best of Both Worlds or Everybody’s Favorite Heretic

The here and now is usually not the focus of most Christians. The focus is on heaven. The afterlife. What it takes to get there. Following Jesus for the future: eternal life.

But, maybe we have things out of focus.

Whoa, you don't have to die an' go to heaven

Or hang around to be born again

Just tune in to what this place has got to offer

'Cause we may never be here again. Ow!    - Best of Both Worlds, Van Halen

While Sammy Haggar’s theology may not line up with most professing evangelicals I think the heart of what he is saying is dead on. We need to tune in to what this place has to offer…not because we may never be here again (Earth is our final desitination) but because we’ve only got one life to live.

Here.

Now.

How many of our days are spent enjoying the now? Think of everything that is bent on taking away that enjoyment, that focus. Maybe you should stop reading this blog and go enjoy the snow. Or maybe you should go wrestle with your kids, or whatever. Do something to enjoy now. Whatever to tune in to what this place has got to offer.

Of course, this song, or really its title has a deeper meaning to me, because I restle with the guilt of being a Christian. Yeah, I said that. “The guilt of being a Christian.”

“Jesus Christ comes to die for our sins, and we’ve had 2000 years of guilt ever since!” – Robin Williams

My Christianity has told me that I can’t enjoy this world. Well, actually quasi-gnostic Christianity, much of which is heavily influencing modern-day Evangelicals, says this world is bad – “this world is not my home, I’m just a passin threw…” cause this place is bad compared to heaven (even though God will dwell here one day, read Revelation 21).

But, what I mean is, if I enjoy “worldy” music (see, they even have qualifiers for this stuff!), or worldly movies, etc, then the guilt is laid on like butter. Heaven forbid you spend time with lost people or other worldly people…who knows, in time you’ll end up on everyone’s prayer list!

“Toby, you’re fourth on my prayer list, right after my family, the church and lost people.” ( someone seriously told me that not to long ago!)

But this type of thing (however inadequately I can explain it to you) is what is helping me distance myself from “church” in general. It just goes against nature. We were designed to enjoy this world. We were designed to enjoy the creation, as well as the creativity that is apart of it’s dna. Skyscrapers. Rock n Roll. Walks on the beach. Apocalypto even.

I don't know what I've been livin' on, but

It's not enough to fill me up

I need more than just words can say

I need everything this life can give me. Hey-hey yeah

'Cause sometimes it's not enough. Ow!    - Best of Both Worlds, Van Halen

Here’s what I really want to say but know that I can’t: I think the way the church has interpreted Jesus’ teachings (and the Bible as a whole) can have the potential to ruin our time here on earth, if followed, rather than fulfill it.

I DO NOT believe, in my bones, that the way Christianity has manifested itself as the church is anywhere close to what the Bible says, let alone on the same course with what we see in nature, and know in our hearts as His Creation.

I was told I couldn’t have a relationship with God and with this world. John told me that. He said it in a letter 2000 years ago. If I love the world I am an enemy with God.

Or am I really an enemy with the way Christianity was evolving and has evolved if I want the best of both worlds?

This deffinately isn’t a finished convo, so you’re thoughts are welcome. I look forward to going deeper with you in the comment section.

Conversational Dierrhea

Today I had some coffee with my good friend, Jonathan, who is the planting pastor of Jacob’s Well. He invited me to sit in on a conversation he was having with another friend and consultant, Tim.

They talked a lot about Jacob’s Well, its vision, its history and its future.

Then I was asked to take 5 to 1o minutes to give my take on the whole deal.

I did it in about 3 minutes.

Tim agreed with my assesment and said “I told him the same thing, but only with several hundred more words. I have conversational dierrhea sometimes!”

Conversational Dierrhea!

I thought, that is going to be the new subtitle to my blog! And thus…

God made woman

it never ceases to blow my mind
it does it to me every time
standin’ here lookin’ at you
it makes me wonder what He was up to
was He thinking about me when He thought about you

chorus:
when God made woman
he must’ve been proud
yeah, he must’ve been crying or laughing out loud
it must have felt like the first time
gettin’ kissed by the sun
when God made woman

it must have been the most beautiful day
lookin’ down on all creation
He took a river that winds and turns
took a fire that breathes and burns
and put it all in place
in the most perfect way

chorus:
when God made woman
he must’ve been proud
yeah, he must’ve been crying or laughing out loud
it must have felt like the first time
gettin’ kissed by the sun
when God made woman

chorus:
when God made woman
he must’ve been proud
yeah, he must’ve been crying or laughing out loud
it must have felt like the first time
gettin’ kissed by the sun
when God made woman

God made woman, Keith Urban: Love, Pain & the whole crazy thing

Love, Pain & the whole crazy thing…

The jury is still out on Keith Urban’s new cd, “Love, Pain & the whole crazy thing”.

What I like about KU’s cd’s is that they really flow well and that they seem thematic throughout. Although he is Country’s top male artist, and several of his songs off his last cd, “Be Here” were number one’s, that cd was better as a whole than the parts.

I’m not sure about this one yet. I think Keith’s fan base is big enough for him to release an album like this, and “Once in a Lifetime” will attract new listeners. But, I don’t know if with this album they’ll stick around. I wont give my final review here soon, once I get a chance to abosrb the cd some more(and I don’t really know why I am doing one cause I think my core bloggin fans aren’t into KU at all!) …